Children's issues

School trouble, friend trouble, behavior, big feelings: these are normal weather in a family, and they get smaller when they are worked early and together instead of late and in anger.

The lab's approach

• Name it early. A small problem said out loud at the family meeting rarely becomes a big one in a principal's office. Kids get a standing, safe slot to raise things before they are crises.
• Hear the whole story. The child tells it first, in full, before verdicts. Half of children's issues are different problems than the first report suggests.
• Separate the kid from the problem. The behavior gets addressed; the child gets kept. Consequences fit the act, end when they end, and are never a withdrawal of love or of family membership.
• Work the system. Teachers, counselors and coaches are allies to recruit early, with the child knowing the plan — no ambush meetings about a kid who hears about them later.

Siblings

Sibling conflict is treated as a skill being learned, not a crime being committed: each side heard, restitution where something was broken or taken, and a do-over where one is possible. Parents referee the process, not every play.